I sadly don’t have much to reflect on this month. The first days of March started off strong with some Palestinian poetry, but my momentum quickly fizzled out as the weeks went on. I turned to the romance genre to try and regain my stride, but nothing would do. I might have been too optimistic in January when I claimed that the reading slump was behind me (it’s clearly not). And the world’s politics are not helping.

I still read four books in the end, which isn’t too bad: one poetry collection, one literary fiction and two romances. It was a bit of a mixed bag in terms of quality. Nothing blew me away. Every read had something interesting to offer, whether it was a strong narrative voice or an entertaining storyline, but at last they all had writing flaws I couldn’t overlook.

Let’s not dwell any longer and get into the wrap up, shall we?

THE STRONG CONTENDER

My first read of the month ended up being the best one of all. After reading El-Kurd’s non fiction book Perfect Victims and the Politics of Appeal last month, I decided to dive straight into his poetry collection next.

RIFQA by Mohammed El-Kurd (2021)

Synopsis:

This is a poetry collection that narrates El-Kurd’s own experience of dispossession in Palestine. It also goes into the historical experiences of Palestinians under Israeli occupation, the consequences of dispossession and the colonialist tools used by Israel to excuse the Palestinian genocide.

My thoughts:

I was SO excited to get into this collection. I think there is a lot to appreciate it for but it shows some inconsistency, which is far from troubling for a debut.

The book is titled after El-Kurd’s late grandmother, who appears as a symbol of Palestinian resistance throughout the collection. She was forced to flee her home in Haifa upon the Israeli occupation in 1948 and this event fuelled her desire for resistance, which becomes a motivator in the book for others following in her footsteps.

Throughout this collection El-Kurd uses poetry to denounce the violence and dehumanization of Palestinians under Israeli occupation, but also to proclaim the power of hope and collective resistance. Acts of cruelty seem omnipresent in the poems and written so viscerally at times that it might make the reader physically reel back, but the anger it creates within only becomes a motivator for fighting. Occasional observations on nature, on community, on kindness add some beauty to the grimness, which makes it feel more bearable. I think it’s a way for El-Kurd to reflect on how humans cope with pain by finding the tiny pieces of good that survive it.

In terms of reading complexity, the collection is kind of all over the place and that’s where my main issue with it lies. Some poems are really dense and impermeable, like the poem Amal Hayati, in which El-Kurd uses too many metaphors without clear messaging. In comparison, other poems seem blatantly straight-forward, using simple images and clean storylines. I do enjoy those more overall because I at least understand their intent, but this constant back and forth is destabilizing for the reader as it’s hard to get a grasp on what El-Kurd’s true voice is. And it’s because I know El-Kurd can do it that I allow myself to be so harsh on him. At times, his writing manages to strike that perfect in-between complexity in the course of one poem, and that’s when he is at his most poignant. In my opinion the best poetry should be able to capture the reader’s heart right away whilst being complex enough to allow for different readings.

And there are so many smart experimental plays on language throughout this collection. El-Kurd mixes Arabic with English a lot. He also criticizes the Israeli rhetoric through different poetic devices, for example by reclaiming the word ‘‘martyr’’ in brackets in the poem Martyrs, or by putting ‘‘Israel’’ in quotation marks throughout the poems to denounce the state’s ephemerality. There’s also a ton of recurring metaphors throughout the collection that emphasize the violence and cruelty of the Israeli invasion, like ‘‘hyenas’’, ‘‘funeral homes’’, ‘‘dead horses’’, ‘‘daggers’’, etc. Other poems like Who Lives in Sheikh Jarrah? are also made up of words cut from newspaper articles, which allows El-Kurd to reclaim the media’s narrative constructed by Israel, showing how omissions or a word choice can reshape history. These writing devices add to El-Kurd’s undercurrent argument that language is a powerful tool for oppression, which means it can be reclaimed for resistance too.

I’m glad I read Perfect Victims first, and I would highly recommend reading his catalog in that order, because I think it helps deepen the reader’s understanding of El-Kurd’s approach to poetry. His non fiction work puts into a structured argument the feelings and criticisms he denounces in Rifqa, which only makes his call for resistance even more moving in this one.

And don’t worry! Even if you’re not super familiar with Palestinian history, there are notes added along the text to explain to the reader specific events El-Kurd is referencing or trying to evoke, so you don’t need to have a deep understanding of the political situation to appreciate the poems. And regardless, I think anyone can feel empathy for the people in these poems, even without background info, as the poetry is embedded in humanity. So please go and read it!!!

SOME GOOD, SOME BAD

After this, I decided to pick up the 2025 Booker Prize winner as I kept hearing good things about it, but I was left slightly disappointed.

FLESH by David Szalay (2025)

Synopsis:

This story follows the life of a man named István, from his teenage years into his late fifties. At the start of the book he lives in Hungary with his single mother. He gets seduced by an older woman who lives next door, and that meeting is the first of many sexual encounters that will change the course of his life forever.

My thoughts:

This book was a complicated read for me. I felt enthralled, frustrated, bored and exhausted all at once whilst reading. István is a very unlikeable main character, but he’s also the biggest strength of the novel.

First of all István doesn’t say much. The dialogues are very repetitive as his vocabulary is limited to a few expressions that don’t give much away, like ‘‘okay’’, ‘‘yeah’’ and ‘‘I don’t know’’, which become increasingly irritating over the course of the novel. It translates a certain banality of speech though, which gives the story a realistic feel as most people’s real life discussions have a lot of filler words too. Aside from those banal dialogues, the reader has no access to the István’s interiority, even though he is the narrator of the story. It gives his character a certain passivity and though intentional, I think that posture is more impactful at the beginning of the story when he’s still a teenage boy because as he grows up, it freezes him in that position. The book’s writing is direct and detached, echoing István’s own detachment from the world, which reflects the deep loneliness that haunts him throughout his life. This novel almost feels like a script at times because of how direct and action-focused the writing is. And though frustrating to read, once combined, all these elements make István a very distinctive, almost oppressive, narrative voice to follow. It also helps to create an underlying tension in the story as it becomes impossible to guess what’s going to happen next.

Keeping the reader at a distance makes the overall story feel less emotionally powerful than it could’ve been though. The dramatic moments or emotional reveals loose part of their effect as the reader doesn’t have access to István’s true feelings. Same for the sex scenes. There’s a lot of sex in this book, but it’s never written to be sexy. It’s more about the physicality of sex than the sensuality of it, which makes for interesting observations at times, but it stops the reader from understanding why two characters might be drawn to each other. There is also a shift in perspectives around the ¾ point that weakens István’s voice. Szalay shows a small part of the story through Helen’s perspective, who’s the wife of István’s boss at one point in the book, but being in Helen’s perspective doesn’t affect the tone of the writing, which makes me wonder how intentional István’s voice really is. That perspective helps to explain away part of the following chapter, but I’m certain Szalay could’ve used another storytelling device to the same effect. I do think showing his time with Helen in Munich is essential though to understand their relationship better.

Thanks to his limited vocabulary, his passivity, his emotionlessness and his physicality, István seems to embody the patriarchal ‘‘ideal’’ of masculinity, and interestingly enough (without spoiling too much), that’s what ultimately ruins him. He even goes out of his way to push those expectations onto his kid later on and that only leads to more tragedy, which reveals the danger of revering an idealized form of masculinity. This might be the most interesting angle for analysis of this book. Szalay confirmed in an interview that this was not his intent but deliberate or not, I think a lot of people (like me) have identified this masculine ‘‘ideal’’ as part of István’s character.

Though I feel somewhat conflicted about the novel’s narrative voice, there is one element of the storytelling that really pisses me off and that’s the time jumps. Every new chapter, the reader meets István at a different point in his life. The problem is that the core of the action seems to happen between those chapter jumps. For example, at the end of one chapter, István decides to join the military but then, at the start of the following chapter, he’s coming back from his mission and leaving the military for good. What happens between the two is explained retrospectively through dialogue. I’m sorry, but that’s just lazy storytelling to me. In an interview Szalay admitted that he didn’t know how to write those action scenes and that’s why he omitted them entirely. And because the reader only gets glimpses into those life-changing experiences, it eventually makes them feel almost surreal. And those time jumps are the moments during which István shows the most agency, but as Szalay keeps skipping them, the passivity of the character only reinforces the daze in which the reader finds themselves.

I know the story is supposed to provoke frustration within the reader but in my case, I don’t believe all the irritation I felt was entirely intentional. It might be a novel more suited for literary fiction readers who prefer plot-focused stories, because readers who love deep character study will be disappointed with this one. It could make for a great book club pick though as it will inevitably create discussions.

MID IN EVERY WAY

Sadly the two romances I read this month ended up at the bottom of my list. This first one was the most enjoyable and well-written of the two though (and by a large margin).

ACT YOUR AGE, EVE BROWN by Talia Hibbert (2021)

Synopsis:

Eve’s a twenty-six-year-old woman who’s a little lost in life. She has had many career ventures, but nothing seems to stick. So her parents decide to cut her off until she has proven she can hold down a job for an entire year. That’s when she decides to apply for a job as a cook at a cute Bed & Breakfast owned by a grumpy, neurodivergent man named Jacob, who struggles to find anyone fitting his high standards. They butt heads at first but slowly become friends, and eventually maybe a little bit more than that.

My thoughts:

This book might be the last cutesy romcom I read, even though I have nothing against this story in particular. I’ve just come to the conclusion that it might not be a genre for me. I find these stories entertaining but never mind-blowing, and always too formulaic. So while this wasn’t bad by any means, it just didn’t work entirely for me.

The setting of the B&B creates a cozy atmosphere. The description of the place is quite vivid. I only wish Hibbert would’ve utilized that cozy setting more, and really delved into the day-to-day work of managing a B&B and preparing for the Gingerbread Festival, using more of those moments to advance the relationship.

Another positive in this book is that the main characters are very lovable overall. Jacob’s characterization and goals are well fleshed-out, but Eve’s ambitions are not as clear. I know not everyone has big career goals and that’s okay but in her case, her uncertainty seems very convenient for the story’s development. It feels like a cheap storytelling trick from Hibbert, an easy way to reach a happy ending without too much conflict. Eve’s personality though feels well rounded. I like the place music takes in her life. It’s a fun detail that gives dimension to her character, also the fact that she only wears t-shirts with stupid quotes on them. Plus I appreciate the rare perspective that offers Eve’s background, of someone who has tried to be an entertainer in the past but didn’t like it.

I also like how Jacob and Eve communicate clearly throughout the book. No conflict is dragged out for too long. There are misunderstandings in the story but when they arise, the characters simply communicate and get over it, which feels refreshing and very healthy. It helps the reader understand how they could work long term as a couple. Their banter feels a little repetitive and dragged out at times though. And their relationship’s timeline is unnecessarily short. They meet and fall in love in the span of only two weeks, which is ridiculous. I think Hibbert could have told the same exact story and have it span over a few months instead. It would’ve made their declarations of love feel way more realistic by the end.

This is the second book by Hibbert that I picked up, the first being Get A Life, Chloe Brown, another book from the Brown Sisters series, and a recurring issue I have with her writing is the descriptions of the sex scenes. I somehow always lose my focus when reading them. They’re too drawn out and detailed, and yet I can never quite grasp what’s going on. I also think they lack a certain sensuality. Besides, the big dick allusions are so over the top. GIRL, let’s be serious!!! We get it: ‘‘the dick is big, so big she has never seen anything that big before, she’s scared it won’t fit’’, etc. But that’s an issue I have with a majority of romances, it’s not singular to Hibbert’s work, but I think it’s worth mentioning if it’s a pet peeve of yours.

This book is very inclusive (and I love to see it!) Not only is Jacob neurodivergent, there’s also a subplot about Eve coming to terms with her own neurodivergent diagnosis as an adult, which is really nice to see. Though I find it a little strange that she self diagnoses her entire family as neurodivergent by the end of the story. It left a weird aftertaste in my mouth but I’m not neurodivergent myself, so if you are and have read the book, let me know how you felt about it in the comments.

Overall this is a cute romcom, taking place in a cozy B&B and centering a grumpy/sunshine relationship dynamic. If that sounds fun to you, you should give this a try. Don’t let my romcom hating self dissuade you from reading it.

NOT GREAT

This last book was the one I was probably the most excited to pick up this month. After watching Alysa Liu at the Winter Olympics, I admit I was more than eager to read a figure skating romance and this one had been sitting on my shelves for a while. What hid inside though was far worse than I ever could’ve expected (and yes, I’m being a little dramatic).

FROM LUKOV WITH LOVE by Mariana Zapata (2018)

Synopsis:

Jasmine wonders if her figure skating career is over ever since her old partner left her. She knows she needs to find a new one soon if she wants a chance at competing again. That’s when Ivan Lukov, her best friend’s brother and the world’s most decorated skater, offers her a deal she can’t refuse: be his skating partner for a year. The only problem is that they hate each other, so they’ll have to find a way to work together if they want to win.

My thoughts:

This book has SO. MUCH. POTENTIAL!!!! It makes me angry just thinking about everything it could’ve been. I feel so let down. I will never shut up about it.

At first the setting seems perfect for a hate-to-love in a contemporary setting. Jasmine is a high-level pairs figure skater but she never won anything significant, which makes her feel like a loser compared to Ivan, who wins first place in every competition he’s in. That’s a level of rivalry that I can get behind because they’re not only skating against each other, there’s the added psychological toll for Jasmine of rubbing shoulders with someone who has achieved everything she has ever dreamed of. At the beginning, their banter is a little childish, but since he’s also her best friend’s brother, I think a juvenile hatred can make sense as they’ve somewhat grown up alongside each other. Also initially, there is a palpable tension between the two of them, but it’s sadly dropped halfway into the story once they become friends. So are dropped all these aforementioned elements as their relationship progresses. There could’ve been more build up though because the story only gives access to Jasmine’s POV, which means the reader never knows what’s in Ivan’s mind. This could’ve added a layer of tension to their dynamic but sadly, none of it is ever utilized.

Because the reader never gets Ivan’s POV, Zapata should’ve worked extra hard to make his character feel well-rounded, but she is never successful at it. Ivan is rich, good-looking, supportive, has dogs, an amazing family… He’s just a perfect human with zero flaws. For me to believe in a fictional romance, I need both characters to evolve together and offer support to each other through hardships, so I know they can work long term, but how can Jasmine offer him support when he has no struggles??? And that makes it harder for the reader to connect with him. There are glimpses of his issues at times, but they’re dismissed as soon as they are mentioned. His only apparent ‘‘flaw’’ is that he has fat-shamed Jasmine for years, which gives her a ton of body insecurities, but that’s quickly dismissed as ‘‘jokes’’ and never talked about again. Great.

In contrast the main strength of the novel is Jasmine’s distinctive narrative voice. She’s an angry, frustrated, scrappy, ambitious athlete, and Zapata’s writing really makes that side of her come alive on the page. Her deep hatred of Ivan also feels understandable… until she admits she only hates him because he makes mean comments to her, not because he embodies everything she wants or anything else more substantial.

It takes Zapata over a hundred pages to set the scene at the beginning of the book, which feels rewarding in a slow-burn romance, but the same care is not given to the development of the romance itself. Despite the book being over four hundred pages, the romance between Jasmine and Ivan is rushed in the last forty pages of the novel. They admit their love for each other before having even kissed, even though they’re two single adults spending 90% of their time together. The passage of time is also unclear. The reader doesn’t really witness their evolving relationship on the ice because there’s not a lot of scenes of them practising together, which makes it harder to understand the growth of their intimacy. Zapata spends way too much time on unnecessary subplots over the romance. A lot of these subplots are made to feel super important when they’re introduced, but they’re never fully explored and they never come up again afterwards. It only makes their presence in the book more confusing, like her mom being in a car accident. The discussion takes place over a dozen pages, even though her mom is okay and that scene’s never relevant again.

When it comes to Zapata’s writing, there are a lot of weird stylistic choices. She often uses periphrasis instead of repeating character’s names, the verb ‘‘blinking’’ is used excessively and Ivan’s eyes are constantly described as ‘‘sky blue’’. There is also so much repetitiveness in Jasmine’s inner monologues. A lot of it should’ve been edited out. It almost reads like a first draft.

Overall I just wish there was more drama, more adrenaline and more competition in this story. The two characters only attend their first competition at the end of the book and they win it easily. Instead I longed for a competition fail to create tension. I wanted a spontaneous kiss after a routine that went perfectly well. I wanted more of the sport itself. I really wished Zapata had taken advantage of the setting to explore the ups and downs of being a high-level athlete, and what that setting might mean for two ambitious people working together.

Much to my disappointment, I would not recommend this book to anyone. I’m sure there are better sports romance books out there that offer better writing and more carefully crafted stories.

Let me know if you have any recommendations of good rival-to-lovers sports romances. I’m willing to try anything after this. I’m sorry I didn’t have great recommendations to offer you this month, but I hope my misery at least entertained you.

See you next week,

N.B.

The state of criticism has been at the heart of many debates in the past few years. Some writers have even gone so far as to announce ‘‘the death of criticism’’ or ‘‘the death of the critic’’. I’m always a bit wary of dramatic declarations stated with too much confidence. They generally betray a hidden conservationist agenda that lacks an understanding of the changing world. So though I don’t agree the critic’s place has disappeared, it’s true that their position in the cultural landscape has taken new forms with the arrival of social media.

Nowadays most of us get our cultural recommendations online, from content creators we follow and trust like friends, rather than through well-renowned critics from magazines or newspapers. On the internet anyone can become a critic, regardless of one’s experience or education. There’s no barrier of entry contrary to paper publications. That’s what makes it so cool for junior reviewers like me. It makes the criticism space feel more accessible than ever, but in return it also broadens the guidelines of what constitutes a review.

Our definition of a review has become all-encompassing and blurry. On social media for the same book, you can find a 30-second ‘‘I liked this book and it was fun to read’’ statement as much as a fifteen-minute deep dive analysis and they’re both held as reviews. I believe the best criticism generally requires time and pondering, and the short content format can make this harder to achieve, though not impossible. It’s also worth mentioning that algorithms reward hot takes over nuanced ones, which isn’t the most fruitful environment to encourage complex reviews.

I know a lot of great video essayists and writers have already explored the topic of criticism at length, so my goal today is not to rehash what’s already been said. Art criticism in itself has been a divisive topic amongst critics and theorists for decades. There exists a variety of approaches that can be used to discuss a piece, and it’s why, social media aside, what makes for a good review has always been somewhat subjective to each critic and singular to each art form.

As a new writer on the platform, I want to offer my own criticism philosophy, so you know what to expect from me if you decide to follow along. Though The Nerdy Review focuses on books and films, this post will concentrate on book reviewing as I’m still figuring out my own approach to films. If you want, I can write another piece dedicated to film criticism once I feel more confident about my method.

So to me, a good book review is able to A) critique the overall quality of the book and to B) help it find the right audience. My main goal with every review is to provide a clear overview of the book’s content and form, exposing its strengths and flaws, so you, the reader, can make the informed choice to read it or not.

For me a review starts with a brief synopsis of the book (or thesis if it’s non fiction) to give some context. It has to offer a feel for the story, for the tone, and analyze how the author’s writing decisions help to fulfill or contradict that vision. It has to answer the following questions: ‘‘Does the book achieve what it set out to do? And if so, how did it impact my reading experience and might impact others’?’’ Depending on the book’s focus, depth and genre, the review might include thoughts on the setting, the characters, the plot, the themes or the form, or a combination of its most important elements. If it’s a classic or a lit fic, the review might pay more attention to the form or the themes compared to a romance or a cozy fantasy book in which the world building, the characters or the storytelling might be more interesting to dissect.

Contrary to popular belief I don’t think enjoyment is the most important metric by which to measure a book’s worth, which is why it’s not the focus of my reviews, though it informs each take. In my opinion it’s totally possible to enjoy a book whilst admitting that the book’s execution is not quite successful, and vice versa. Two truths can coexist.

When it comes to critical theories, I’m not attached to one approach in particular. I prefer to sit at the intersection of many and keep from each what makes the most sense to me. It’s why I interpret a book first as an individual work, identifying patterns, language choices or contradictions that I fall across. Then I go and search for interviews or writings from the author on that work, learning about the author’s biography and trying to understand their intent behind the book to deepen my comprehension of its aims. Also as I’m inevitably looking at a piece from my contemporary point of view, I find it useful (especially with older works) to search on the political situation at the time of the book’s publication to see how the context might have informed the writing, or on possible biases the author might have held at the time of writing.

Finally I like to keep in mind that writing a review inevitably gives a book coverage, regardless of my take on it, so reading and criticizing a diverse range of stories and authors is important to offer marginalized ones visibility too.

Let me know in the comments what you think about my book criticism philosophy. Does it make sense to you? Does it not? Don’t hesitate to challenge my take and share what constitutes a good review for you.

See you next week,

N.B.

At this point I’m convinced that winter’s never going to end. As I write these lines I see fresh snow falling outside my window and it’s making me depressed. A snow storm. At the end of March. Great. As if we didn’t get enough snow already this year.

So to warm up my heart a bit in the meantime (and hopefully yours too) I thought I would share 10 movies I’m looking forward to watching in the spring months ahead. These movies are not necessarily spring-themed. Some I hope might bring the sun with them, but others are just films that I’ve been meaning to watch for one reason or another.

1. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE (2006)

This one has been on my to-watch list for SO. LONG. It stars the incredible Toni Collette and the always-entertaining Steve Carell. I’m not entirely sure what it’s about and that’s okay with me. I prefer going into it not knowing much. The title just sounds like the most heartwarming thing ever, plus the bright yellow poster is the color of the sun. Need I say more.

2. JAWBREAKER (1999)

Let me be honest. I was only made aware of this film because it stars Rose McGowan, whom I absolutely ADORE in her role as Paige on the TV show Charmed (if you never watched that show, here’s your sign to do it). Anyway the synopsis for this movie sounds totally unhinged and I’M INTRIGUED!!! It’s apparently about a clique of teenage girls who accidentally murder their best friend on her birthday, and then try to cover it up. I expect this movie to be either campy and fun or really shitty. We’ll see which category it falls into.

3. NOWHERE (1997)

Again this film stars Rose McGowan AND Shannen Doherty (also from Charmed), though in very secondary roles from what I understand. The story takes place in Los Angeles and follows a group of very queer friends attending a wild party. I expect this movie to be a little bit dark, more rough around the edges than Jawbreaker, though also quite campy. If I’m not mistaken, it involves alien abductions too? Regardless I’m excited to get into Araki’s work as his Teenage Apocalypse films are considered cult classics. From what I read online though, if you’re sensitive to anything, maybe you’ll want to check the trigger warnings beforehand.

4. WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1992)

Since everyone’s been hating on Fennell’s new adaptation of the novel, I decided NOT to watch it in theaters, and instead wait for the movie to become available on streaming. I’m way too curious to never watch it ever as I’m a big fan of Bronte’s work, but I decided I didn’t want to pay extra for it either. Following the release I became aware that older movie adaptations were already available for streaming online, so I thought I could give one a go in the meantime. Peter Kosminsky’s adaptation might be the one that intrigues me most. And I’ll probably take advantage of the last snowfall to watch this one as it may be more of a wintry watch.

5. SINNERS (2025)

This horror film has been nominated for what seems to be every award and praised by what feels like everyone online as an incredible piece of work. The story takes place in the American South in the 1930s, which sounds like the perfect setting for an interesting horror plot. I don’t know how I was able to escape all the spoilers online, but I hope I can keep it that way until my own viewing. Horror is not always a genre I’m drawn to, but when it’s used to make societal commentary or play with the form, I can get behind it. Also, it stars Michael B. Jordan.

6. BALL OF FIRE (1941)

I’ve recently been re-watching movies by Howard Hawks like The Big Sleep (1946) or Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953). So many iconic lines and scenes. The latest one I watched is Only Angels Have Wings (1939), which might be my favorite of his filmography so far. Anyway I want to keep going through his catalogue this spring and Ball of Fire is the next movie on my list. It stars Barbara Stanwyck, whom I really enjoyed in Double Indemnity (1944), so I’m excited to witness her acting again, this time accompanied by co-star Gary Cooper.

7. LA DOLCE VITA (1960)

I never watched a Fellini movie. There, I said it. I know, I know… It’s embarrassing, but I’m ready to remediate the situation and La Dolce Vita seems like the perfect place to start. From what I understand the story takes place in Rome and follows the ups and downs of a sexy Italian romance, and nothing screams hot weather more than this. What else to say! It’s a classic of film history and I want to know what all the hype is about.

8. PRINCESS MONONOKE (1997)

I watched two of Miyazaki’s movies so far: Spirited Away (2001) and Howl’s Moving Castle (2004), which I both really enjoyed. My end goal is (obviously) to get through his entire filmography. So Princess Mononoke is next on my list, and because it deals with environmental themes, spring feels like the perfect time of year to watch it. What better way to celebrate the burgeoning of nature than to watch a badass woman fighting for its rights.

9. DO THE RIGHT THING (1989)

I’m excited to FINALLY get into this classic film. I heard so many great things about it. From what I understand Lee’s work tends to be politically smart with a side of humor, and that’s a sure winning combo for me. The movie tells the story of a neighborhood feud between an Italian pizzeria owner and a Brooklyn local. On Letterboxd the synopsis’ first line starts as follows: ‘‘It’s the hottest day of the summer’’ and I can only hope the film brings the heat along with it.

10. LICORICE PIZZA (2021)

Anderson is a polarizing filmmaker for me. His movies always offer something interesting to reflect on, but I usually struggle to get through them. I don’t know if it’s due to their dark, heavy atmospheres, or their run time, but they never quite work for me. Regardless as he is my brother’s favorite filmmaker, I keep trying his work. It’s why I went to see his latest release One Battle After Another (2025) in theaters and this one might have changed my mind. It’s subjectively an incredible film, visually and thematically. The car chase at the end felt like witnessing a moment of cinematic history. In the words of Sabrina Carpenter, maybe I see the vision now… So it’s with new enthusiasm that I prepare for my next Anderson viewing. Licorice Pizza has been on my list for a while. It takes place in the 1970s in the San Fernando Valley. It follows two characters navigating their first love, which sounds cute in theory. Knowing Anderson though, maybe I should expect something dark hiding underneath. Excited to see it nonetheless!

Hope you’ve find a few movie recommendations along the way! If you’ve watched any of the films I mentionned, let me know in the comments what you thought about them.

See you next week,

N.B.

February just flew right by and I’m not sure it’s due to its number of days. The immense chaos of the world has made the past weeks feel like embarking on a train ride I never agreed to and witnessing it violently come to a crash. Due to all of this I didn’t feel like reading much this month. In the end I only read two books: one non fiction and one mystery. But that’s okay! As the world goes to shit, we’re all trying our best. If we have a safe roof over our head, food to eat and clean water, that’s already enough to be grateful for in these dark times. So let’s get into the wrap up!

THE FAVORITE

The best book I read in February might also be a new all-time favorite for me. It’s a non fiction book that’s more than relevant to understand today’s headlines.

PERFECT VICTIMS AND THE POLITICS OF APPEAL by Mohammed El-Kurd (2025)

Thesis:

As the title suggests, this book discusses the politics of appeal, specifically within the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. In it El Kurd explains how language and colonialism are used by Israel and Western media to dehumanise the Palestinian people and excuse the ongoing genocide.

My thoughts:

This is an incredibly powerful read. I love non fiction that challenges my perception of the world and this book definitely provided that for me. Going into it, I already knew about the Palestinian genocide, but it made me reconsider my own internalized prejudices towards Palestinians.

The book’s purpose is educational, yet its tone remains intimate. In the introduction El-Kurd explains that he tried to write this book as if having an informal conversation with a friend and it works. His writing is emotionally raw, full of vulnerability and anger. He fully embraces his own experience as a Palestinian writer and poet (you can expect a review of his poetry collection next month) and uses it as a starting point to explore the topic at hand. His emotional transparency mixed with an academic approach allows him to build an argument that’s convincing as well as impactful.

In this book El-Kurd exposes the many rhetorical strategies used by the Israeli government and the West in the media coverage of the conflict, from the myth of the Palestinian ‘‘terrorist’’ to the never-ending accusations of antisemitism thrown at anyone speaking against the Israeli occupation. Through multiple examples he explains (successfully) how Palestinians are held to impossibly high standards of victimhood while facing systemic extermination, as though the world expects them to not use violence to defend their own territory and protect their people against ongoing attacks. And since I’ve read the book, I keep noticing this Israeli rhetoric EVERYWHERE in traditional media. All lives don’t have the same value in the eyes of the colonizer and this is just another proof of that.

El-Kurd’s also extremely self aware of the language he uses in this book, often commenting on his own writing, explaining to the reader why he instinctively felt the need to add or abstain certain elements from the examples he uses. To witness this kind of honesty in a non fiction work is refreshing in and of itself, but it also helps bring to light El-Kurd’s argument that words have power.

This should be a MUST read for everyone. If you haven’t read it yet, please pick it up NOW!!!!1

SOME GOOD, SOME BAD

After this incredible but heart-wrenching read, I was in the mood for something a little bit lighter in tone. This next novel was the no brainer I needed, though it was far from a complete success.

LISTEN FOR THE LIE by Amy Tintera (2024)

Synopsis:

One night Savvy is murdered and Lucy is found on the side of the road with her best friend’s blood on her dress and no recollection of the previous day. In their small Texas town people believe she’s responsible for the crime, but as no one can prove it, Lucy flees to LA to start her life over.

Many years later a popular true crime podcaster named Ben learns about the unsolved case and decides to investigate it as part of his next season. The virality of the podcast brings the case back into public consciousness, which forces Lucy to come back in town and find out what really happened that night.

My thoughts:

I think the book is an entertaining read overall. Tintera relies on an accessible prose and a plot-focused storyline to keep the reader engaged throughout.

I haven’t read a ton of mysteries but in comparison to others I’ve read, the biggest strength of this one lies in Lucy’s distinctive narrative voice. She’s a compelling character, likeable enough for the reader to root for her, yet flawed enough to make her feel realistic. Tintera also uses other people’s perception of her as a means to highlight the everyday misogyny women are forced to face in today’s society. Additionally Lucy’s relationship with her best friend Savvy is well fleshed out. Tintera uses flashbacks efficiently to help the reader understand their dynamic and Savvy’s character. I appreciate the ironic discrepancy it creates between people’s idealized recollection of Savvy in the present compared to the more imperfect, complicated version of her in the flashbacks.

I guess it’s a mild spoiler but there’s a romance that develops between Lucy and the podcaster Ben, which I didn’t love entirely. I could understand their sexual chemistry but I couldn’t get behind the actual romance. I think Tintera wants the reader to believe in their relationship, but how can we root for them when he’s the reason why she loses her job, her housing and everything else she’s built for herself at the beginning of the book?? And how she can be with a guy who jerks off at the thought of her being a suspected murderer???? I guess that’s where I draw the line. That’s way too weird and unprofessional for me, though I’m sure this kink is a real thing for some people in the true crime community.

Trigger warning: This book also tackles domestic violence as part of Lucy’s storyline. I can’t attest to that representation personally, so I’d need to check what others thought of it to be sure. At first glance though I’d say I was not fully sold on the politics of it all. I like that Tintera takes the time to explore with a lot of depth and empathy Lucy’s relationship with her abusive ex. She isn’t afraid to show the complexity and nuances that come with being a DV survivor, but I think the big reveal at the end of the book undermines some of that nuance. The twist feels rushed and underdeveloped, which makes a certain character seem clownishly evil by the end. Instead I wish Tintera would’ve used the ending to make a meaningful statement on the subject. The reveal is also just predictable. I could see it coming from a mile away, even though I’m not a big mystery reader myself.

I don’t know if I would necessarily recommend this story, but if you do want to pick it up, you should do so via the audiobook. It’s a full cast and the podcast excerpts in the book come to life on audio as fully produced podcast episodes with music and all. It’s really well done.

Hope this wrap up took your mind off of the world, even just for a minute. Please let me know in the comments if you have any other book recommendations tackling the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I would love to educate myself more! :)

See you next week,

N.B.

Last week I wrote a post on my belief that the ‘‘going analog’’ trend might just be a new tool to shame ourselves over our phone addiction and how, despite people’s good intentions, it’s probably not going to be the key for a successful recovery (if it sounds interesting to you, you can read that post here).

In that same post, I also shared the embarrassing relationship I had with my phone, and the 20+ hours per week I was spending on YouTube alone. I deleted Facebook and Instagram from my phone a long time ago, I never had Tik Tok, so YouTube had become the default app on which my doomscrolling ended up. What I voluntarily omitted in that post is that I’ve been on my own recovery journey from phone addiction since the beginning of December 2025 (I wanted a headstart on my resolutions). Flash forward to three months later, my YouTube screen time has dropped to around 9 hours per week, which isn’t perfect but much more sustainable for me.

So as a follow-up this week, I thought I could give you my personal tips and tricks and share what has helped me reduce my own doomscrolling in hope that it might help you too.

I think the general mistake made in most advice found online is that it puts all of the focus on the screen time itself rather than look at the addiction from a holistic perspective. Because let’s be honest. For a lot of us, doomscrolling has become a form of coping mechanism, a way to numb our brain from uncomfortable emotions or other problems in our lives. It’s why I want to add some introspection on top of the ‘‘regular’’ restricting measures, so you can heal your relationship with your phone in a way that works for you in the long run.

Here are the 7 steps I’d like to propose for a healthy phone addiction recovery.1

1. ACCEPTANCE IS THE FIRST STEP

In my opinion, the first step is to accept that you have a phone addiction, not as a self-deprecating joke but in the literal sense of the word.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines the word ‘‘addiction’’ as follows: ‘‘an inability to stop doing or using something, especially something harmful’’. If that definition resonates with you in regards to your phone use, it might be that you have an addiction. And like any other addiction, if you want to heal, you first need to accept that you’re addicted, that you have lost control over your actions and that it probably stops you from living your life to the fullest. Repeat it out loud to yourself, so the words really sink in.

2. ANALYZE YOUR SCREEN TIME

Once you’ve accepted that you have an addiction, the next step is to do an analysis of your screen time. If you want to stop your dependance, you need to know what exactly you’re addicted to because having a phone addiction has become a bit of an umbrella term that can include many different things. So you have to understand what it means for you. To do so, you want to identify what app(s) you’re personally spending the most time on and how much time you’re spending on there. That’s the diagnosis. For example, if you realize that you spend 3+ hours on Tik Tok per day, then you’ll know to keep an eye out for your use of this app.

3. DELETE THOSE DAMN APPS!!!

Now it’s time to restrict. Like a kid who eats too much candy when left alone, you need to lock the metaphorical pantry door for yourself. This is the step that you’ve probably tried before and failed. So, what do you need to do differently this time?

Well first I think you need to distinguish the different uses you make of the apps you’re spending time on. If you use an app exclusively for mediocre doomscrolling and it’s not bringing you joy, maybe the solution is just to delete it. There’s a high chance it’ll only become a useless scrolling temptation for you on your recovery journey. On the other hand, if you have multiple uses for an app and/or you use it to scroll but you get a lot of enjoyment out of it, it might be more complicated.

And that’s where the restricting methods might vary depending on what works or doesn’t work for you. Personally, I knew that deleting YouTube (the main app I was using) from my phone was not an option. I genuinely enjoy the long form content I watch on there from book recommandations to video essays to financial advice videos. Also I like having easy access to it on my phone for when I’m doing chores around the house or laying down in bed. In comparison, if you don’t need on-the-go access to an app, you might decide to delete it from your phone and only access it on your computer. It all depends on your needs.

In my case, knowing this was not an option for me, I simply went online searching for ideas from regular users in relation to YouTube. Deep into a Reddit thread, I found someone who suggested turning off the ‘‘Watch History’’ setting on my account, so that YouTube couldn’t remember the videos I watched. This new setting means that the app’s algorithm cannot recommend new content to me, so it turns off my ‘‘For You’’ page. So now, when I want to scroll short form content on the YouTube app, I can only do it through the channels I’m subscribed to, which reduces immensely the amount of scrolling I can actually do. This setting literally changed my life!!! Is it a little annoying when I don’t watch a video in one go and then have to manually search for that video again a few hours later? Yes, absolutely yes, but it’s worth it to me and that’s what’s important in the long run.

Depending on your situation, I’d recommend you search for a similar tool in the app(s) you’re struggling with. If there’s no such setting, I’m sure there are other settings or options that might help you manage your own scrolling. You have to test things out, maybe fail a few times, until you find a method that works for you.

4. LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF

Once you’ve physically removed and/or reduced the scrolling temptations from your phone, you’ll probably find yourself mechanically opening those apps multiple times a day, just by sheer reflex of the brain, or you’ll find yourself scrolling on the small amount of content you have left. That’s TOTALLY NORMAL!!! You’re going through withdrawal. When I initially turned off my watch history on YouTube, I found myself on that homepage multiple times a day, staring at an empty screen, forced to look my addiction in the eyes. I physically craved doomscrolling. My body had learned in a Pavlov way to associate scrolling on my phone with reassurance and dopamine.

That’s when things get interesting. It’s time to look inside yourself and make some introspective realizations. From now on, every time you find yourself reaching for your phone, swiping on your home screen or scrolling subconsciously, take a step back, put that phone down and check in with yourself. How’s your mind? How’s your body? What time of day is it? Put into words what you observe: I feel cold, I’m anxious, I’m tired, it’s after work, it’s lunchtime, etc. Don’t associate judgment to it. You don’t have to feel guilt or shame about it either. You’re simply collecting facts.

The goal of this exercise is to help you identify when and why you scroll. I’m sure you’ll quickly notice patterns in your phone use (at least I did). For example I discovered that I mostly reach for my phone when I feel anxious or sad or tired or cold, and most often it’s right after work or before bed at night.

It might bring up some internal struggles within yourself that you’ve been trying to ignore for a time, but don’t be scared to bring them into light. Facing those uncomfortable truths is part of the journey. Hell, that’s part of life! I promise it gets better over time.

5. CREATE CONTENT PLAYLISTS

Let’s remember that the main goal of this process is to heal your relationship with your phone, not to erase it from your life forever (because that’s just unrealistic). So once you bring down your screen time, you want to make sure that the screen time you have left is used smartly. You don’t want to mindlessly replace one content with another. You want to be intentional in the content you consume.

There’s so much content that comes out every day on social media that sometimes, I think it gives us a false sense of urgency to consume it. We feel like we need to watch the content we’re interested in right away in fear of missing out later. To counteract this feeling, I suggest you simply save for later the content you TRULY want to watch and organize it in playlists or folders. It also might help you realize what you really like to watch. Next time you open Instagram and see a Reel you’re interested in, don’t watch it right away. Save it in a folder and watch it later when you have the time. I promise you’ll appreciate it even more. That’s why on YouTube now, if I see a video I want to watch, I usually save it for later either in my “Fun playlist”, for when I’m in the mood for short and entertaining videos, or in my ‘‘Video essays” playlist for when I have the time to sit down and learn.

It might also help counteract your choice fatigue because from now on, when you’ll want to watch something, you’ll just have to go to the right playlist and click the video at the top. In the long run it’ll also limit the time you spend scrolling for content to consume.

6. FIND NEW HOBBIES

If you’re like me and spent all your time scrolling before, you might realize pretty quickly that you have a lot of time on your hands once you remove scrolling as an option. Even if you only spent two hours scrolling on your phone every day, you’ll still suddenly be left with two hours of spare time that you’ll need to fill up to keep the phone temptation away. That’s when finding new hobbies comes in. They can be analog or not. I would suggest a healthy mix of both.

Make sure you organize things outside of the house because you’ll probably scroll more if you’re alone in your apartment every night than if you have activities planned with others. Chances are you use your phone less when you’re out with friends or attending a yoga class. I would say game boards can be a great option too, especially if you have a partner or friends who also want to reduce their screen time. It’s also the perfect time to ask yourself what you want to do more of or if there’s something new that you want to try. If it helps you, make a list of activities you’d like to do on your phone or in a journal. It might be the perfect time to start learning crochet or make bread or take that dance class you’ve always wanted to try with a friend.

Whatever list you end up with, make sure you’ve got activities of different intensity levels, so you balance out the more physically or psychologically demanding activities with the easier, less challenging ones. I love to read but I know it demands a lot of focus out of me, so if I’m feeling drained after a long day, I might choose to go on a walk instead or watch a movie to recharge. If you want to learn a new hobby, make sure you also have other activities on the side that won’t require as much brain power, so you can still make time for yourself on those slower days.

The goal is not to be productive 100% of the time. Far from it. The goal is to give your brain real time off. And when in doubt, the best option’s always to lay down still for five minutes and breathe. It’ll give your body and mind time to relax, so you know what to do next.

7. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY & BE INTENTIONAL

Once you’ve put all the parameters in place, it’s time to listen to your body and give it what it truly needs. So going back to the introspective observations you’ve made, you now have to combine them with the tricks you’ve learned.

Whenever you’re tempted to scroll, take a step back, identify how your body’s feeling and then, instead of scrolling, go and do what your body requires. If you’re tired, go and lay down, read for a little bit, take a nap or a hot bath, or maybe just go to bed early. If you’re feeling sad, take a moment to understand why you’re feeling that way, then go and do a hobby that actually brings you joy or helps clear your head.

You can still watch a YouTube video or some Tik Toks at the end of your day, just make sure you intentionally do it. Set yourself a time slot. Make sure you prioritize the content you saved for later or videos from creators you actually follow. Ultimately you want to get real enjoyment out of your phone use and have it in addition to your other hobbies. It shouldn’t be a default setting for any free time you get.

Also it’s okay to be bored sometimes. You can cook a meal in silence or brush your teeth without entertainment. Give yourself the space to think and be creative.

Some days you’ll try all the tricks in the book and you’ll still end up on your phone regardless. And I’m here to tell you: THAT’S OKAY. Recovery is not a linear process. It’s normal to have ups and downs. If you punish yourself for every wrong move you make, you’ll never be able to evolve. You need to give yourself grace. When (and not if) it happens, simply identify why it happened and learn from it.

It’s been three months since I’ve started my recovery journey and I’m still trying to balance everything out. The first month was extremely challenging, let alone the first week. I promise you though that every day the addiction gets easier to fight. Be patient with yourself.

Let me know in the comments if you find any of these tips helpful (I hope you will) and please share your tricks if you have any. Make sure to share this post with anyone around you who might be struggling too. It helps me immensely. :)

See you next week,

N.B.

Going analog has been the catch-phrase for 2026 so far. It seems like every cool girl has adopted the idea as part of her New Year’s resolutions, and is now excitedly sharing her messy-but-aesthetically-pleasing journaling with the world. The trend has been embraced by many, but it has also faced some backlash.

People’s main complaint seems to come from a realization that going offline has become an online trend, and that this contradiction might defy the purpose. I believe this is a reductive assessment of the essential role social media plays in the growth of any movement today, especially when we’re all so disconnected from our real-life communities. Others have also argued that a lot of the “going analog” content has just been a new, shinier way to promote overconsumption online. This argument holds some truth, but I think there’s more to it.

Personally I love a good journal spread as much as the next girl, and I will always support people who want to be on their phone less. I’m just not sure in the long run, this is the exercise that’s going to be bring us all closer to our ultimate end goal, which is reducing our screen time. And I think that hypocrisy’s where people’s issue with the trend actually lies.

In truth, going analog is just a reflection of our collective desire to get rid of our phone addiction for good and actually LIVE our lives, but at this point we’ve all tried to restrict our phone usage at least once, and we all know how it ends. Blocking our phone for an hour will only delay our inevitable doomscrolling to later. And that’s an ugly truth to face, though we’ve all experienced the internal shame from that loss of self control. I think that’s why we’re getting more and more online trends that like to tackle the problem on the surface, like ‘‘going analog’’ or ‘‘slow living’’, because most of us are afraid to get into the nitty gritty of what having a phone addiction actually means, and are ashamed of what it might reveal about ourselves.

Because being offline used to mean just living our life like everyone else but in today’s chronically-online society, it has become a real status symbol. Rich people claim to not use their phone anymore. Mark Zuckerberg proudly admits in interviews that his kids don’t have access to social media (though he owns many of the social media apps we use today). Being offline has become a way to differentiate the ‘‘ones who scroll’’ from the ‘‘ones who don’t”, which subconsciously has created a moral hierarchy that supposes the superiority of one group over the other. The goal is to distinguish the people who have a phone addiction, who ‘‘can’t control themselves’’ (usually lower class people), from the ones who are ‘‘in complete control’’, who spend their time ‘‘enriching their brain’’ (often wealthy people with assistants). It means that the class divide has also turned into an artificial moral divide. And I think this assumption has slowly bleeded onto our social media feeds.

I believe it’s what leads us to today’s offline trends. Over the years a lot of us have learned to perform, aestheticize and share our ‘‘perfectly curated analog mess’’ with the world online. Think of the camera roll carousels on Instagram, the pictures of someone’s annotations on Substack or now the journal ecosystem tours on Tik Tok. We display our ‘‘analog mess’’ online because we want to prove to others that WE experience a life well-lived, which implies a life offline, and so subconsciously a morally superior life. That tendency makes us feel more intellectual, more ‘‘in control’’ in comparison to others, which allows us to sit ourselves higher on the social hierarchy, even if subconsciously.

It’s also true that social media are inherently visual platforms and that their formatting does not lend itself to having profound conversations. It’s easier to sell an ‘‘analog lifestyle’’ through aesthetically pleasing pictures online, and promote purchases that might help people to ‘‘achieve that lifestyle’’, than it is to show someone’s realistic recovery journey from phone addiction, which is certainly part of the problem too.

I would compare the moral assumption associated with our phone usage to how society might base someone’s character in relation to their looks. So to heal our relationship with our phone, we might have to use a similar mindset than we do when healing our relationship with our body. Let me explain.

Society likes to put people who have a certain ‘’ideal body’’ on a pedestal, though it often means a ridiculous ideal that most of us can’t achieve, and then shame the rest of us for not having that body. So then to conform, we might try to restrict ourselves with a dangerous diet, start going to the gym excessively and distract ourselves from ever thinking about food. Those tricks might help us lose weight initially, but they will be difficult to maintain long term, and each wrong move will bring us internal shame. Also we simply might not have the financial means to get the ‘‘perfect body’’.

It’s why, just like with our phone usage, our body’s end goal should never be to fit society’s ideal. It should be to achieve a relationship with our body (or our phone) that’s healthy and durable for us. And for that, we might want to progress more slowly, not restrict ourselves as much and accept that we’ll have good days and bad days. We need to deconstruct our assumptions and realize that this ‘‘ideal body’’ does not hold any actual moral value, that brands are just taking advantage of our insecurities to sell us an unachievable lifestyle (and products to go along with it).

Like eating, using our phone has become an essential part of our daily lives. So if we want to find a long term solution for our dependence to it, we need to reframe our entire relationship with it and stop ourselves from aestheticizing it. Finding alternative hobbies should only be one of the tools in our healing journey, not our saving grace.

In reality I think our healing journey should start with us getting rid of the internal shame we feel towards our phone addiction. It should be our first step. And to do so, I want to propose a new trend. Let’s share our embarrassing phone addiction stories with each other, so we know we’re not alone. That’s one thing social media can be incredible for. I want to know how many hours you’ve really spent on Tik Tok last week, how many minutes you loose doomscrolling on the toilet every day, how you might have spent an hour scrolling on your phone coming home from work out of pure laziness, because I DO IT TOO!! Let’s drop the façade for once and be honest with ourselves.

I think it’s only fair that I go first. So here’s my story. I am a 27-year-old woman who can’t be trusted alone with her phone. I spend 20+ hours per week on YouTube alone. It pains me to admit it but it’s true. I spend every spare time I have scrolling online. When out and about, I can’t wait for a minute alone, so I can scroll in peace and breathe. Need to decompress after a long day at work? I sit down on the couch and scroll for two hours the moment I step foot into my apartment. Have a couple of minutes to spare before dinner? I’m scrolling on my phone at the kitchen counter. Coming home after a nice dinner with friends? My partner and I are in bed, scrolling next to each other for an hour. I’m ALWAYS in front of that little blue screen. It’s the first thing I grab when I wake up in the morning. When I visit my family (that I love), at night I’ll tell them that I’m going to bed but actually, I know that I’ll be scrolling for an hour in bed before even brushing my teeth. My brain has associated doomscrolling with me time and it fucks me up. I can sit uncomfortably on a kitchen chair doomscrolling for two hours, cold and tired, just to hit that occasional high of dopamine. When I’m feeling anxious, I physically feel a pull to open my phone and scroll. When I’m out in public, I scroll on my phone or fake-check my messages, so I don’t have to face others in the eyes. And even though I know it’s bad for me, I keep scrolling on my phone every day because I have no control over my actions anymore. I have an addiction. And I know it holds me back from living my life to the fullest but I can’t physically stop.

Please feel free to share in the comments your own phone addiction story. I want to hear it. Let go of the shame, so it doesn’t control you anymore.

See you next week,

N.B.

The past few years have been a little rough for most of the world (I don’t think anyone will be shocked by this statement) and personally, it really affected my reading. It’s why I went into 2026 thinking this might be the year that marks the end of my reading life for good.

I usually read around fifty-ish books a year, and the last few years were no different, but the level of excitement I get from those books has significantly declined over time. In all of 2025 I didn’t discover a single favorite, which was a new low for me. I did read some great books (don’t get me wrong!) but none that would make me stay up late reading.

So let’s say that I went into this new year with a lot of apprehension. Had I lost my stride? Reading is and has always been a part of my identity. I was the nerdy kid at school getting mocked for always carrying a book, so to think that I might spend another year reading only moderately fine books felt a little scary to me. Maybe it’s the perfectionist inside talking, but aiming for averageness has never been part of my curriculum. So imagine my surprise this month when I realized the books I’d picked up were actually engaging. Not perfect, not life-changing, but all extremely enjoyable. It was already more than I could’ve wished for.

In total I read five books in January: two non fiction and three literary fiction. It tracks in terms of genres with what I usually pick up. Though I didn’t do it this month, I do like to switch it up occasionally with some genre fiction, like romance or speculative fiction, depending on my mood. Let it be known that this is a genre-snob free zone!!!

THE BEST OF THE BEST

To start off the list, I want to talk about my top two reads of the month and, funnily enough, also the shortest ones. Should I read something into that?

FOSTER by Claire Keegan (2010)

Synopsis:

This story takes place over a summer in Ireland. It tells the story of a child, who is taken by her father to stay with relatives on a farm until her mother, pregnant yet again, gives birth. As the story develops, a relationship grows between the girl and her caretakers, Mr and Mrs Kinsella, and a looming secret is slowly unveiled.

My thoughts:

This book was easily my favorite read of the month, and more generally the best read I had in such a long time. It’s a short story that captured my heart right from the beginning.

Its strength lies in the child’s perspective, the perspective through which the story is told. Getting to experience life through those innocent eyes gives the story a lot of dimension. It helps to ground the characters and the setting. I also find brilliant the way Keegan uses that perspective as a tool to hide certain elements from the reader, and then slowly uncovers them. Similarly to children in real life, the young girl can sense the words left unsaid and others’ emotions, but she doesn’t have the vocabulary to fully articulate them yet. Sometimes it leads to funny misunderstandings and other times, it gives the reader a sense of the looming secret hiding beyond the page.

I think this story also captures the beauty of everyday life, of those seemingly small moments that end up shaping us into who we are. Keegan uses mundanity to show the love and the tenderness slowly taking root between the child and her caretakers. The story seems to suggest that a loving relationship grows from the choices we make and the small moments we share. And I love that idea and the way it all builds up to bring us an emotional ending, which (I admit) made me tear up. I think it is telling of Keegan’s writing skills that she’s able to bring the reader into that emotional space in such a short amount of time.

I found the reveal of the secret to be a little expected, but I don’t think Keegan’s goal was really to shock the reader. Overall I just think this is a simple and beautifully told story that most people would enjoy.

ON SELF-RESPECT by Joan Didion (1961)

Thesis:

As the title suggests, this essay delves into Didion’s thoughts on self respect. She tries to define what it means, give advice on how to find it within ourselves and explain why one should strive to hone it.

My thoughts:

This two-page essay really hit home for me this month. This is the perfect read for any young person (like me, hi!) who’s struggling to find their voice and affirm who they are.

First let me admit it. Like everyone else, Didion is slowly becoming a favorite author of mine. I first read her novel Play It As It Lays and loved it, then started her memoir The Year of Magical Thinking and though I never finished it, I know I will eventually (it was simply too emotional for me at the time), and now this insightful essay. What else to say!

I think this was a really interesting exercise from Didion. Self respect is a topic that I’ve never really seen discussed before, outside of the misogynistic dating advice content on Tik Tok. I find most insightful the way Didion juxtaposes alienation of the self and self respect. As a certified people pleaser, it’s a harsh truth I definitely needed to hear. And in today’s climate her take feels surprisingly relevant, especially considering social media’s making us more alienated from ourselves than ever before. I also really appreciated Didion’s use of fictional characters to illustrate her argument. I LOVE when a writer uses cultural references to prove a point.

I definitely think everyone should give this short essay a go. You can find it online for free, so there’s virtually no reason not to pick it up.

THE STRONG CONTENDER

I then listened to a non fiction book on a topic that I’d been interested in for a while, so it’s no surprise it turned out to be a solid read.

MONSTERS: What Do We Do With Great Art By Bad People? by Claire Dederer (2023)

Thesis:

In this book Dederer tackles the idea of the “art monsters”, people who, as the title suggests, have created what is considered “important art” but whose personal life has been defined by some terrible moral failings. Dederer then goes on to explore how the biography of an artist can impact the work they’ve created and influence how it is received.

My thoughts:

First off let me just say that the audiobook is narrated by Dederer herself and I just love it when an author narrates their own book, especially in non fiction. It makes the work feel so much more personal and this time was no different.

Now here are my thoughts on the actual book. Overall I think Dederer tackles this complicated topic with a lot of subtlety and nuance, whilst never trying to excuse anyone for their wrong doings. Art is subjective and so is our relationship with any art piece. It can feel so personal to us that as consumers, it can become difficult to evaluate the tension between admiration and outrage.

I appreciate the structure chosen by Dederer for the book, deciding to explore the topic through different postures like the fan, the genius, the critic, the anti-monster… And I like how each chapter focuses on one or two specific, evocative examples that support her argument. I find her prose accessible and relaxed, not too academic. I like that she uses an intersectional feminist lens to explore the subject, because gender and race have a huge impact on our perception of what an artist can or can’t do, whether we realize it or not.

Something this book made me more aware of is how much motherhood plays into a female artist’s posture, especially in comparison to male artists. And as an aspiring writer, I found relatable her exploration of the female artist’s relationship with her own art and how patriarchy might impact her artistic process.

Though this is not a memoir, Dederer does draw a lot from her own experience as an art consumer and an artist to discuss the topic, and I do think her overall interventions add to the conversation. I fear it makes the beginning of the book feel a little bit less focused though.

If you’re interested in this discussion, I think this is a fascinating read for sure.

SOME GOOD, SOME BAD

Now onto the last two books I read. They were entertaining stories but in terms of literary merit, they had some intrinsic flaws that I couldn’t overlook.

THE EARTHSPINNER by Anuradha Roy (2021)

Synopsis:

This story moves between two timelines. First there’s Sara, a young Indian who’s studying abroad in London and, struggling to find her place, picks up pottery again. Then there’s Elango, a potter back in India who one night dreams of a horse on fire, and then goes on a quest to try and recreate it with clay.

My thoughts:

This book was recommended to me by a friend and I totally understand why, even though it ended up being a little bit of a mixed bag for me.

Let’s start with the positive. The heart of this novel is Elango’s story. His storyline’s poignant and engaging, and that’s when Roy’s storytelling feels the most intentional. I also appreciate that Elango’s story feels almost like an allegory, a noble character whose quest of love is faced with brutal fanaticism. It sounds like a warning to the reader. And through Elango’s love story, Roy doesn’t shy away from showing the real hardships that a forbidden love can bring on, though I wish she would’ve allowed the reader to witness the growth of the relationship in real time rather than retell it afterwards in a few lines of dialogue.

Also the language she uses around pottery work is immersive and sensual. I read that Roy worked with pottery artists for the writing of this book and it definitely pays off. I do like how pottery is used to link Sara’s story with his because the beauty of art, in a lot of ways, is that it connects us together through time and place.

Last thing I really enjoy is the choice of narrator for the last chapter. It reminds me slightly of The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera, which is a favorite book of mine (if you know you know).

Now let’s talk about the negative. I didn’t understand the purpose of Sara’s story nor her characterization. Throughout the book I never got a good grasp on who she was, even the writing in her sections felt choppier, which makes me think that maybe Roy herself didn’t know entirely what she wanted to show with her. Secondary characters of her story, like her friend Karin or her mom, are characterized way more clearly in comparison. Also Elango becomes Sara’s pottery teacher at some point (not a spoiler) and like her own motivations, her feelings for him are never made clear to the reader. Some could argue it’s because she doesn’t understand them herself, but it doesn’t feel like a deliberate choice from the author.

Overall I’d say that Roy had a lot of ambitions for this novel, but I don’t think she was able to fully execute them. So if you’re looking for a good fiction story that really grips you, this novel could be for you. I just don’t think it’ll fully satisfy the folks in need of tight storytelling.

DEPT. OF SPECULATION by Jenny Offill (2014)

Synopsis:

This novel navigates the ups and downs of a writer’s marriage, as she tries to understand her role as a wife, an artist and a mother.

My thoughts:

Initially this novel piqued my interest because Claire Dederer quotes it in her book Monsters (see my review above):

“My plan was to never get married. I was going to be an art monster instead.”

Intrigued I picked it up. It was an interesting reading combo but Offhill’s novel was less successful for me than Dederer’s work. Let me elaborate.

In this novel Offhill explores many of the female artist’s challenges identified by Dederer in her work, but she uses a fictional, more intimate lens to do so. And Offhill KNOWS how to write iconic one-liners. There’re so many quotable lines in this book, some I still think about multiple times a week.

Narratively I appreciate Offhill’s choice to switch up the pronoun in which the novel is written. It adds an interesting layer to the storytelling. Some parts are addressed to a “you”, and then others are written in a “we”, following the ups and downs of the narrator’s marriage.

Overall though I think that Offhill’s decision to use vignettes truly weakens the overall storytelling of the novel, prioritizing style over substance. And that’s just a big pet peeve of mine. I like the idea of vignettes to tell a story, but here they’re all so short that it restricts Offhill from exploring any topic with real depth.

This is an overall enjoyable read. It’s under 200 pages and the structure of the story makes it easy to fly through, but apart from a few quotes I don’t think this story will stay with me for a long time.

Hope you’ve found some good recommendations!

See you next week,

N.B.

Hi there,

Welcome to my corner of the internet! I’m the nerdy brunette. I hope the road leading you here has been gentle to you, though considering the times we’re in it probably hasn’t.

Outside the climate has been alarming. Violent winds have been raging all over the world and dark clouds have taken an indeterminate stay in the sky. In this boisterous weather some brave soldiers have stayed out to face the storm approaching, but most of us have scuttled away, hands over our heads, in search of a hiding place like cats before the rain. And there are the ill-intentioned fellows, those who have welcomed the chaos with open arms, viewing it as an opportunity to sell their fortune to scared passersby.

It’s why I don’t venture out much these days. Though ashamed to admit it, I’m no better than most. I prefer to stay inside, waiting for the rain to stop. I sit in the comfort of an old armchair, hidden away under knitted blankets. In the chimney I keep a small fire burning to warm up the room, just enough to turn my cheeks the slightest bit of pink. The crinkling of the burning wood is the only soundtrack to my days.

And as I sit there by the window, I give the fortune sellers outside disapproving glares. I scream at the onlookers to come inside for cover but no one hears me through the glass. Then, as if everything’s well, I fall asleep at night, rocked by the wind’s howling. It surprises me how quickly one becomes used to bad weather.

Days have repeated themselves for me in such paralysis, one day melting into the other. Sheltered away in my house, it feels like time is passing me by and I am lonelier than ever, helpless against the weather forecast. It’s why today I’ve decided that this tiring routine has come to an end. To move forward, I need to face the world and reach out. The bravest of us have always known that togetherness is the key to a sun-filled future. The fire is only beautiful if it warms up others too.

So that’s where you have found me, opening my door to the soldiers and passersby like you in search of a refuge from the storm. I’m glad you have found cover here. I hope it can become a safe place for you to rest when you feel too tired to fight or for when the weather gets too rough. If you like reading about books, films, music and culture at large, you should stay for a little while. It might offer you a moment of respite.

This is my first step towards you and I hope there will be many more to come. Please let me know in the comments if you have any requests for topics you’d like to read from me.

Hope you have a nice stay! :)

N.B.